I wore a basketball vest with the words “Good Boy” on it front and back, old-fashioned China doll headwear, around my body taped by transparent tape to restrict physical activity, and followed a Boxing Conditioning Circuits tutorial found on YouTube as a daily morning training.

The China doll mask, which is a classical post Cultural Revolution festival costume for dragon parade or lion dance. I got it from a gift shop in Chinatown in 2019, 30 bucks. At the time I don't think it's worth the price at all so I ask the shop-owner to give me a discount. The boss gave me a firm refusal and said it is handicraft, and it's beautiful. He use the word “beautiful”. But the reason why I want to buy it is because I thought it is quite special--a weird and creepy thing that lagged behind the current era in my generation’s cognition which is still popular in New York and has been called beautiful. I realized that there is a huge cognitive and aesthetic deviation between me and the older generation immigrant seller, and this mask is the key object which can represent the embarrassment.